mental health

Hygiene Hiatus

Hygiene Hiatus

On my journey to doing not nothing, I've noticed a trend in my productivity. When I get up and do one thing, it usually makes me do another thing. I think to most people, that's living life and being a human. However, my brain is funky, so I call it a huge win. 

Not everyday is a huge win. When I begin to struggle, the first thing to go is hygiene and self-care. Do people talk about that? Are people up front about how gross depression and anxiety get? Let me share some of what happens when my mental health starts to dwindle…

Three Years Later - Mental Health Awareness Month

Three Years Later - Mental Health Awareness Month

Here's what I want to share with you: I'm having a really hard day. I went six months without having a hard day, but lately, a lot of days are hard. That doesn't mean that the progress I've made in 3 years (not to mention the last 20) doesn't count. I thought that I was short changed because my work went viral when I wasn't ready. I thought I was letting people down when I wasn't set up to be an influence or support system. I wasn't. 

Long Time No Talk (but plenty of depression)

Long Time No Talk (but plenty of depression)

"Do you like yourself?" My therapist asks me this almost every week. I sit. I think. I get uncomfortable. I squirm around in my seat at the question, suddenly realizing how stuck my legs are to the leather of the chair and how my necklace feels against my skin.
"Do you understand that this is your depression and not you?" He makes a point to draw attention to the delusions I'm allowing to run my life. I quickly dive into every reason that he's wrong.

Are You There, Motivation? It's Me, Katie

Are You There, Motivation? It's Me, Katie

You see, the problem I had with the word "motivation" is that I made it synonymous with being productive. I had convinced myself that all those women my age were just feeling motivation that I didn't have and they were getting. shit. done. Meanwhile, I was jealous of them wondering when the hell my motivation was going to show up. I lived like this up until like... I don't know... last week?